In the face of regret
You reflect back on what should or should not have been said.
But it’s too late.
Drastic measures fight for your attention.
But none carry the satisfaction you crave.
The feeling of both emancipation and disappointment become a familiar scent to the senses.
It takes some time before it resonates that the bittersweet feeling is here to stay.
Knowing your worth only exists outside the realms of some dimensions.
Dimensions that define who you are but others define it for you.
You harbour anger and hate creating an obstacle to your progression.
Prayers become stale because you refuse to address those issues you still cling on to.
The issues that lead to your regret.
Prescribing a diagnosis to your situation only feeds the ego that refuses to be humbled.
You try to convince yourself to neglect the pain you feel.
Is the emancipation of your ego worth the disappointment of your heart?
I guess this is what the bible meant do not give the devil a foothold.
Your ego is not sponsored by God.
They are a collation of pockets of pride deposited by the devil.
A place in your life he shouldn’t have.
Was the things you said or didn’t say worth the weight they carry in your heart.
‘Words carry the power of life and death’ is a saying we are all too familiar with.
But it also refers to the words you harbour in your heart.
The things you can’t forget.
The words out of anger that instil disappointment.
Even if we feel emancipated by them still hold the power to damage.
We put a blockade in our path because we can’t address the issue and let go.
Eventually, that makes its way to our hearts and before we realise our behaviour changes, our language changes, our belief changes and our worth changes.
Then love can’t flow.
With all these things going on in our hearts, where is the place of God?
Give everything over to God.
Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the areas you need help and ask God for help.
Then act on it.
Like Joyce Meyer frequently says
‘ you don’t have to feel like doing what’s right to do what’s right.’
Set yourself free.